I finally feel like I’m beginning to break through the funk of the past few weeks. My appetite has increased over the past few days (whether for good or bad, I at least didn’t worry too much about it) and my sex drive. I sung and played my guitar today and it felt good and right. I thought I would try and write a poem in this mood, see how that feels.
Thank you for today
It wasn’t as bad as yesterdayAnd I get the sense that tomorrow
Will continue the trend
There were times
I rather hoped it would endIt didn’t though
And days like today make me glad it didn’t
I know that there will be dreary days again
But maybe fewer and farther betweenThese days of semi-happiness
I wish I could save and spend
This has quickly become quite the emo poetry blog, but it does make me feel better to get these thoughts out in a somewhat productive way.
I feel bad
When I feel sad
I want to smile for you
You say such sweet things
It doesn’t seem fair
The compliments go through me
How long until you grow weary
Enough to say goodbye
I had another night of fitful dreams. I woke up feelings quite anxious. I think the remedy is another attempt at poetry.
I feel as though I must have two hearts today
For both are thumping, buzzing with the reminders of what has happen
What is to come
Although it is normally two stomachs that gorge on the feelings of discontent
Today they have shrunk to one, less than one
That churns with unease
I wish I could awake feeling whole
As one, just one
I considered starting a new blog. I suppose I feel ashamed of the times I feel depressed. I want to be an inspiration. I am proud of how many obstacles I have overcome. I want others to know they can as well. Today has been a “down” day for me; I have had quite a few over the past few weeks. Sometimes the feelings are fleeting, other times the linger throughout the entire day. In the end I concluded that it is dishonest and unfair to only express positive thoughts if that is not how I am really feeling. I can continue to get through these darker days. Only by acknowledging the dark can we appreciate the light.
I get so tired of the down
I wake up and know it will be one of those days
Dreams that haunt linger
I can only keep moving
That’s what I try to do
Eventually the burden is too great
I hate the body I’m in
Is there any way out?
I try but somehow cannot keep up with the hunger
I wrote that today. I feel a little better, and it feels good to express myself in a creative way, even if it felt difficult to get the motivation to do so. That is really all I want to post right now. I will try and post more often.